#rudy pankow fic recs

[ruerecs]

jj and rafe wholeheartedly support women's rights AND wrongs, you can't tell me different.

[andy-15-07]

Family love

masterlist ! pairing: Rudy Pankow x reader

SUMMARY : The nights are the most beautiful with the family

Genre: fluff, lovee

I remember heartbeat in the doctors office, she had him wrapped around her little finger. Rudy is the most excited for his little princess, regardless of the moment he talks to the baby in my belly, when she hears him, her little feet hit where my husband is holding his hand.

And our son was ecstatic, too. Our two year old, Andrew . He loved to put his little hands on either side of my belly, and wait to feel his baby sister kick and he loved to put his head on my belly when we stay on the couch while watching tv.

Nights have become our favorite times when Rudy and I are in bed. Rudy leaning against the headboard, and me between his legs, with my back against his chest, one of his hands on my stomach.

We giggled as we looked at our baby girl's ultrasound, wondering who she would look more like.

I want our daughter to have my eyes and lips and Rudy's nose and hair. While our son has Rudy's eyes, lips and nose, but his hair color is mine. The most beautiful combination of us.

Rudy and I have decided on what to name our daughter, Madelyn Lisa Pankow. We wanted it as our daughter. Same situation as our daughter, our son's name is Andrew Chase Pankow.

Before becoming parents for the first time, we decided to name our children after the people who have always been with us and we can consider them as members of our family. Our children's godparents are Chase Stokes and Madelyn Cline and they always came to help Andrew and me.

It was almost 11 at night and our little princess had other plans instead of sleeping, Rudy was facing me and his hand was on my belly where the baby had hit. I heard the small steps coming from the hall.

"Daddy?" He spoke from the door , rubbing his eyes.

“Yeah, baby?” Rudy asked him, as he looked back to find him.

“Can I come sleep with you? ”

“Sure, baby. Come lay with me and mommy.” Rudy told him, as he lifted the bedsheets up to greet our exhausted toddler. He sped over to our bed, and climbed up from his little steps, and rolled over Rudy's legs to land right in between us and my dear husband lift him up to cuddle.

"I was talking to your sister, do you want to talk to her too?"

He nodded his little head, and Rudy took his hand and put it where he had it a few minutes ago.

"What do you say if you start talking to her, maybe you will feel it too, what do you say my boy?"

“I’m Andrew . I'm your big brother and I will protect you . We will play together and I will read you books and stories . I love you baby sis .” He said, and the second he finished, she stuck her little feet out and gave him a tiny kick, and his excitement was so pure, he looked up at me and squealed .

"Mom, dad, you saw, my sister hit, it means she likes me." Andrew says and gets closer between us.

After a few minutes I notice that our beautiful boy has fallen asleep. I raise my head and look at my dear Rudy, the man I fell in love with from a young age, as he was looking at me smiling.

"Maybe now you will sleep peacefully my dear." It boosts my Rudy.

"Maybe. Good night, I love you Rudy!"

"Good night my love, I love you all" I hear him say and I fall asleep.

Rudy didn't sleep, he was looking at his beautiful family, he can be considered the happiest man on earth.

[fxllfaiiry]

─ 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐬 ๋࣭ ⭑

505 - @lvstcd

wiped out! - @/lvstcd (all her jj works are amazing <3)

cockwarming w jj - @rafesmuse

make-up sex - @/rafesmuse (one of the best obx writers)

no nute november - @thecameronchronicles

aftermath - @maybaenk

kindred souls - @maybanksangel

that's my shirt - @winchester-books

stay still - @pankhoeforlife

who's the guy? - @surftrips

camping confessions - @cherryobx

let me show you - @loveharlow

shaved confessions - @pixelated-pogues

best served cold - @drewbooooo

hot tub - @ lovelyjj

if we go down - @starryblueeyesandstarryblueskies

b team - @ceceswriting

simple favor - @urfavemcustan

hush - @hybridluv (one of my fav authors)

safe haven - @/hybridluv

eye contact - @thatfangirl42

loving you - @oncasette

six times he realises he loves you - @fandomtravels

swell - @the-maidofgevaudan

too much to drink - @pankowholland

tags 🔖 @cassadilasworld

[bunnyslxtts-recs]

This was so frigging cute I can't- 😭

I can see JJ ringing the bell just one last tike after the clerk came out just to be a pain lmao.

You’re a Peach !

Disclaimer: Just fluff, something cute with slight dirty humor lol. 

Pairings: JJ Maybank x Female reader 

Summary: JJ is determined to help you get your favorite candy for movie night. 

Word count: 852 words 

© Allycat004 2023, please don’t steal, translate, repost, or copy my work. 

Keep reading

[echobx]

recs list - JJ Maybank (part 2)

info: links to my reblogs of the work, unless it's a series that is unfinished, then it links to the writer's post || one tag per blog, no matter how often you're mentioned

fics:

JJ × preacher's daughter @sunniepoo

overstimulated!JJ @redhead1180

fratboy!JJ with your name on his dick @sleepyjuice

No Touching @princessmaybank

dom!mad!JJ @/redhead1180

Need a Hand? @stardusttkachuk

The Inmate @blueicequeen19

plug!JJ @/sleepyjuice

top secret @santaasi

Come Crawling Back @/princessmaybank

kitty!reader being possesive over JJ @/sunniepoo

Desperate Times @/blueicequeen19

boy next door!JJ @sexilene

Covet @featherandferns

A Helping Hand @everydaydreamer

A Year @coffeebeanbabysdreams

Love you from a Distance @/coffeebeanbabysdreams

series:

JJ stealing ppl's clothes ♡ part 1 ♡ part 2 ♡ part 3 ♡ @johnbbutmakeitace

dad!JJ Maybank (masterlist) @moremaybank

daylight series @/featherandferns

The Blue @quin-ns

Hearts At War ♡ part 1 ♡ @/princessmaybank (unfinished)

Practice ♡ part 1 ♡ part 2 ♡ part 3 ♡ @outermaybanks

headcanons:

brother's bsf!JJ @mvybanks

JJ's nsfw alphabet @stxrslut

dilf!husband!JJ @/mvybanks

girl dad!JJ @/stxrslut

JJ and hand holding @mayfieldss

JJ × chubby!reader @dearggntlereader

blurbs, drabbles and concepts:

attention starved JJ @amorchai

4th of July @/sleepyjuice

thigh riding @/everydaydreamer

one time, one kiss @/everydaydreamer

your first kiss with JJ @jjwantsme

JJ eating you out for sport @/moremaybank

praise kink!JJ @/sleepyjuice

stepbro!JJ "helping" you get sleepy @bunnyrafe

JJ comforting you @yvnadores

enemy!JJ in the elevator @/sleepyjuice

cockwarming stepbro!JJ @/sunniepoo

JJ hitting it from the back @/deeeeeeja(deactivated)

cuddling with JJ @/sleepyjuice

Movie Night @/blueicequeen19

JJ eats you out and you repay him @/everydaydreamer

JJ coming by late at night bc your grounded @/everydaydreamer

cockwarming JJ for the first time @marilynslove

love island!JJ @/sunniepoo

JJ who keeps your tits safe while you sleep @/moremaybank

Polar Opposites @/featherandferns

mascot!JJ @princessbrunette

comforting bsf!JJ after a fight with Luke @roxierae

boneyard party with bsf!JJ @seasons-of-death

whipped!JJ @/moremaybank

JJ can’t help himself when you wear a pretty little dress @/sleepyjuice

faked hickey @starfxkrreloaded

unclefaux!jj taking your virginity @/starfxkrreloaded

making out with bsf!JJ @/moremaybank

sucking him dry @/moremaybank

hungover @/featherandferns

specials:

Rudy Pankow × surfer!fem!reader @/redhead1180

these are all my 07/24 to 09/24 recs ^~^

part 1 here

[ruerecs]

𝑗𝑗 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑓𝑖𝑐 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑠 𝑖.

vodka's promise by @cantstoptheimagines

camping confessions by @cherryobx

three seconds by @xveenusx

assigned seat by @quin-ns

caught in the crossfire

now your mess is mine

by @fandomxpreferences

it's not what it looks like by @winchester-books

bereal by @rafesmuse

sweet talk by @https-florals

sweet dreams by @lilastrocup

what are friends for by @onsunnyside

first

i got you

wrestle

can't kill a pogue

promise

by @jjs-bitch

you drew stars around my scars by @mvybanks

birthday boy by @gxthicwxrm

meant 2 be by @strstab

next ones on me by @ec1ips3

people watching by @luvsellie

fiending for something, might just be a meaning by @vampiretendencies

[andy-15-07]

A Birthday Surprise

A true love Masterlist

Pairing: Rudy Pankow x reader x Drew Starkey

Summary: Drew and Y/n throw a little party for Rudy's birthday

Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

It was a crisp autumn morning, and Drew and Y/n were bustling around their apartment, exchanging excited whispers as they made preparations for Rudy's 25th birthday. Streamers adorned the walls, balloons bobbed in the air, and the scent of freshly baked cake filled the room.

"We have to make sure everything is perfect," Y/n said, adjusting a streamer with care.

Drew nodded, a grin spreading across his face. "Rudy's going to be so surprised. He has no idea what we've been planning."

Y/n chuckled, feeling a flutter of anticipation in their chest. "I can't wait to see the look on his face when he walks through that door."

Meanwhile, Rudy was out running errands, completely unaware that his girlfriend and boyfriend were conspiring behind his back. As he made his way home, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Was he forgetting something important?

When he finally arrived at the apartment, he hesitated outside the door, bracing himself for the possibility that his suspicions were true. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

To his surprise, the apartment was alive with activity. Balloons swayed gently in the breeze, and the aroma of his favorite cake filled the air. Drew and Y/n stood in the living room, their faces illuminated by smiles.

"Hey, Rudy!" Drew exclaimed, unable to contain his excitement.

Y/n rushed forward, enveloping him in a tight hug. "Happy birthday, love."

Rudy blinked in astonishment, his heart swelling with emotion. "You guys…you remembered?"

Drew grinned, wrapping an arm around Rudy's shoulders. "Of course, we did. How could we forget?"

Y/n gestured to the table, where a colorful array of presents awaited him. "We wanted to make sure you had the best birthday ever."

Overwhelmed by their thoughtfulness, Rudy felt a lump form in his throat. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," Drew said, squeezing Rudy's hand. "Just enjoy the moment."

With a grateful smile, Rudy joined them in the living room, feeling a wave of love wash over him. They toasted to his birthday with glasses of champagne, laughter filling the air as they reminisced about old memories and made plans for the future.

Then it was time for cake. Y/n brought out a decadent chocolate cake adorned with candles, and Rudy's eyes lit up with delight. As he made a wish and blew out the candles, Drew and Y/n cheered, their voices blending together in a chorus of celebration.

"Thank you, both of you," Rudy said, his voice thick with emotion. "This means more to me than you'll ever know."

Y/n hugged him tightly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "We love you, Rudy. Today is all about celebrating you."

Drew nodded in agreement, his eyes shining with affection. "You're the best thing that ever happened to us, and we wanted to make sure you felt special on your birthday."

As they basked in the warmth of each other's company, Rudy felt a profound sense of gratitude wash over him. In that moment, surrounded by the people he loved most in the world, he knew that he was truly blessed.

With Drew and Y/n by his side, Rudy blew out the candles and made a wish, knowing that no matter what the future held, as long as they were together, everything would be alright.

[rafesthroatbaby]

“You gonna cum for me? You know you love this inmate cock.”

you always end my life with those lines 😭 you do that shit effortlessly 😏 the image of inmate jj is so UNREAL 💦 ruined me 😮‍💨 the usual 🐱🪦

The Inmate

Warnings: tattooed inmate JJ, creampie, dirty talk

It’s late and the only other guard on duty is watching the front as you lead your prisoner further into the empty basement.

“Hope you’re not afraid of the dark.” He pops off as you round a corner and head down another long hallway. You hate the way he smirks as you force him into the small, dark office. His cocky attitude had plagued you since day one. And since then.. you’d known this was only a matter of time.

“What’s this about, Officer?” JJ practically coos, grinning at you in the dark after you lock the door and force him to sit in the old desk chair. You hate how good he looks even in his uniform. His hair is long and unruly, his body filled out and covered with muscles, and that damn throat tattoo just begging to be..

“You know what this is about.” You bite out, briefly tempted to remove his cuffs but then think better of it. He was a flight risk, just like his dad.

“Show me.” He licks his lips, eyeing you hungrily as you undo your belt and sit it on the desk. Next are your boots and pants.

“This is only happening once. To get it out of my system.”

“More.” He nods to your button up, ignoring your words.

“Shut up.” You growl before moving to tug his pants down.

“Sit on my face and make me.” JJ bites his lip as you free the massive erection in his pants. You wrap your hand around it and give it a squeeze as butterflies fill your stomach. It was a struggle to appear unimpressed but he’d managed to rub it against you more times than you cared to admit. You knew he was packing.

“You try anything and you’ll regret it.” You warn, tightening your grip until his thighs flex, slowly unbuttoning your shirt with your free hand.

“Trust me, I want you to use me right now. As many times as you want.” JJ’s breathing comes faster, his body already taunt as he waits for your next move. You keep your eyes on his as you slowly lower your panties and let them fall to your ankles.

“I want to taste you.” He practically begs.

“Too bad.” You move to stand directly in front of him, loving the way his pupils are blown and his cock begs for attention. A drop of precum weeps from the tip and you fight the urge to trace it with your tongue.

“No touching.” You turn around, giving him a perfect view of your round ass as you use the desk to brace yourself.

“Oh, fuck.” JJ’s strained words have you shaking with anticipation as you reach between your legs to guide his thick cock where you need him.

“Jesus, you’re so wet.”

“Shut up.” The head slips in with ease and you groan in unison. You sank down half way, your walls stretching to accommodate him as you braced yourself on his thighs. He was so big. And thick. This position almost hurt.

“Fuckkkkkkk.” JJ plants his feet and thrusts the rest of the way in, making you cry out from the sudden harsh intrusion.

“Fuck, it’s deep.” You cry, plastering your back to his chest as you watch him start to fuck you. His panting fills the air along with your moans. The slap of his balls against your ass echos as you bounce to keep up with his movements. It felt like he was in your stomach, about to come out your throat.

“You gonna cum for me? You know you love this inmate cock.” JJ groans into your neck, making your insides pulse as you barrel towards an explosive climax. You snake an arm around his neck, gripping his hair as you plant your feet on the desk to help yourself bounce. His cuffed hands fist your shirt at your back, keeping you in place as you fuck each other.

“Fuck, J.” You whimper, reaching down to rub your clit with your free hand. The orgasm is explosive, barely giving you enough time to clamp your lips shut as your body convulses around him.

“Thats it. Milk me dry.” He bites your ear lobe, making you clench harder around his cock as you try to come back down from your high. Your legs shake uncontrollably and you can barely catch your breath as he pummels harder into you.

Without warning he’s standing and bending you at the waist so your chest meets the desk. A loud cry echos in the room as he fucks you even harder than before, the new position making your knees buckle.

“Look at you. A complete fucking mess for me and I’m still in cuffs.” JJ taunts, kicking your feet wider apart as his hands grip your ass. Your breath fans across the test as he drives you closer and closer to the edge with every snap of his hips.

When you both reach your peak at the same time and he moans loud and long as he releases inside you is the moment you realize that this won’t just be a one time thing.

[maybankxw]

BLOG RECOMENDATIONS!

@novxturient​ ( a friend of mine and an amazing author! currently on a break but her old works are worth it! ) — obx masterlist, also here’s a wattpad link for her story called impulse! (rafe cameron)

@mackenzielovee​ ( she’s a queen of rafe series out here, she’s got a whole universe which is absolutely insane! definitely go and read now! ) — rafe masterlist

@pankhoeforlife​ ( lex! she’s writing for characters and actors as well, the aesthetic of her works is sooooo cool and reminds me of chase atlantic songs, which by the way isn't a coincidence, cuz she’s got a whole list of fics based on them <3 ) — obx masterlist! also her recommendations account <3

@fivelakesinwriting​​ ( currently not taking obx requests, the writing is immaculate! obx characters and actors ) — link to the masterlist

@blueicequeen19​​ ( obx characters! she’s our dark content queen so if you’re looking for something specific her blog is where you’ll definitely find it! opened requests!! ) —obx masterlist,  wattpad

@wannabestarkeysgirl​ ( obx characters and actors! amazing blog <3) — masterlist 

@maybanks-luver ( the cutest blog hehe, obx characters and actors!) — obx masterlist, obx cast masterlist 

@bethoconnor ( updates frequently and opened requests! obx characters and actors! absolutely love the writing!) — obx masterlist

[luversgirl]

𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, drew starkey. masterlist

summary: two best friends evolve into something more but with more but with starting something more there is always a long road that leads to it

notes: i’m transferring this from wo to here and it’s gonna look bad af just like ✨ this story ✨

warnings: alcohol & marajuana consumption, maybe smut… and i’ll write down warnings in all parts so if theirs something else it’ll be there.

↳ introduction

↳ playlist

↳ part one

↳ part two

↳ part three

↳ part four

↳ part five

↳ part six

[spinningintheshadows]

Vixxy’s Fic Recs

My Best Friends Boyfriend Series by @pankowforlife and @lindzaylove

Hate You by @sugarcoatedobrien

Basehead Blues by @teelagurl558

The First Christmas by @teelagurl558

I Could Use Some Help by @sugarcoatedobrien

Lilo & Stitch (miniseries) by @teelagurl558

Soul Deep by @kindapinkskies

Bye Bye Barbados Series by @pankowforlife

The 23rd of December by @pankowforlife

Sky High Thrills by @slutforsmutsstuff

Caught Red Handed by @slutforsmutsstuff

In My Dreams by @slutforsmutsstuff

Hard Work Pays Off by @slutforsmutsstuff

The Therapy Fic Just Friends by @teelagurl558

Anchor Tattoo by @pankowforlife

The Sounds of a Good Boy by @yagirlwrites

One Thing Right Series by @collecting-stories

Did I Scare You? by @moldisgoodforyou

Sixth Sense Series by @mackenzielovee

Letters to You Series by @mackenzielovee

The Euro Trip Universe by @lurkymurker

Bested Series by @lurkymurker

The Internship Series by @lurkymurker

Ambivalence and Parenthood Series by @mackenzielovee

Welcome to New York by @pankowforlife

Is it Just Me by @pankowforlife

Cuddle Me by @wannabestarkeysgirl

Kiss Me by @lilacsandwhiskey

No Strings Attached by @sugarcoatedobrien

Midnight Snack by @bethoconnor

Tenderness and Warmth by @bethoconnor

Untitled (Drew’s Arms) by @hoebx

The Real Reason by @strokesofstokes

We Say We’re Friends by @wannabestarkeysgirl

I’m not Jealous by @wannabestarkeysgirl

Rough by @adventuresinobx

A Way Home by @radiant-reid

Found Family by @boldlyvoid

Drive Me Crazy by @plenty-lost-minds

What to Expect series by @boldlyvoid

Little Lavender Friend by @thepsychewrites

Temptation by @goldenjo

Untouched by @buckyalpine

It’s Really You On My Mind by @heavysoldat

A Clandestine Affair by @bonky-n-steeb

Desire by @bonky-n-steeb

Priest!Bucky Au by @bucky-barnes-diaries

Mirror Image by @sunshinebuckybarnes

Liquor A Guide by @anastasiabvrnes

[whoahoneyy]

Why do the bad boys in class always have me by the throat? The fluff is unmatched!😩🤍🫶🏻 I wanna give this boy a forehead kiss

Assigned Seat (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Word count: 2.8K

Summary: JJ won’t sit in the correct seat because it’s not next to you

Tags: fluff, mutual crushes, lots of flirting, JJ being cute, slightly oblivious reader, getting together, everyone ships, just cute fun fr

A/N: binged obx and this is my first fic for it and of course I had to write for JJ- he’s my fave. also, it’s s2 when school starts but let’s say they know that john b is alive before the first day of class bc I don’t want this to be angsty lol

cross-posted to ao3 • writing masterlist

First day back in your first class of the day—Mr. Sunn’s history class—and you were greeted with a seating chart. Usually, you would just sit with your friends, but now you saw that Pope and Kiara weren’t in the same row like they usually would’ve been when you all shared a class. You didn’t even see JJ at all yet. You wondered if he’d show up. It was the one class that you actually had with him, so you hoped he would. Otherwise you wouldn’t see him until lunch break.

You found your seat with ease, but gave Kie a light frown when she turned around and saw you weren’t anywhere close to her or Pope.

About a minute before class was about to start, JJ walked through the door. He spotted you and grinned. He headed for the empty seat beside you and dropped down in it.

“Hey,” JJ greeted. “I was almost late but here I am.”

You laughed a little (mostly because of how proud he sounded). “Yeah, I see that.”

“So, what’s up?” he asked, side eyeing Kie and Pope. “Are we avoiding them for some reason or…?”

“What? No,” you replied quickly. “Appreciate that you were instantly on my side, though,” you said with an amused tone. 

JJ smiled at the comment. “I appreciate the appreciation.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled back nonetheless.

“If you two are done flirting, perhaps Mr. Maybank could move to his correct seat and we can get class started,” Mr. Sunn called out suddenly. You and JJ both were startled, realizing he was talking to you

JJ furrowed his brows. “Correct seat?” he whispered. “What is he talking about?”

“There’s a seating chart,” you muttered back, finally remembering.

“What?” JJ asked a little louder. “That’s lame,” he grumbled. 

“Well, tough,” Mr. Sunn replied, clearly having heard. “And according to my lame seating chart, you’re on the other side of the room.”

“It’s an empty seat,” JJ pointed out. 

“Actually, it’s Mr. Kane’s seat,” Mr. Sunn gestured towards a boy standing near you guys that you embarrassingly enough just now noticed. 

“Well, great, he can have my seat,” JJ suggested with that cheeky smile of his. 

Mr. Sunn looked from JJ to you. “You must be something special, Ms. Y/L/N. I’ve never had someone fight so hard to keep a seat.”

All you could do was laugh awkwardly, very aware of all the eyes on you. You gave JJ a look, asking for him to save you from being the center of attention on the first day. The only way he could was by relenting. 

With a sigh that you would deem dramatic, JJ stood and grabbed his backpack. Mr. Sunn held up the seating chart paper. Everyone watched as he went to the front of the class and glanced at the paper, and then found his actual seat on the opposite side of the room. 

“You can see your girlfriend after class,” Mr. Sunn commented in response to your friend losing the argument.

You weren’t his girlfriend, but neither you or JJ corrected him. You didn’t because frankly, you’d gotten your fill of attention. You weren’t sure why JJ didn’t, though. 

Besides, you weren’t totally against people thinking that. It was still weird having a teacher call you out like that, though.

The kid who had been waiting for JJ to vacate his seat gave you an apologetic look before turning his attention to pulling out a notebook.

You made eye contact with JJ across the classroom and he winked.

“Now that everyone is in their correct seat,” Mr. Sunn announced. “We can get started with class.”

Everyone turned to focus on Mr. Sunn going over the first day syllabus, except for Kie. You caught her looking at you and you met her eyes. She raised her brows as if to ask, “what was that?”

You shrugged, telling her that you didn’t know. It was true, you didn’t. 

After class, no one brought it up so you didn’t say anything about it either. You all went about your day and soon, the whole seat incident left your mind.

The next day you were reminded of it.

You arrived to history with Pope, chatting about the syllabus and what supplies you still needed to get. Kie was already in class. You said hi and then bye and headed to your seat. JJ was the last to show up, cutting it close again. You gave him a small wave, assuming you weren’t going to get to talk to him until after class.

Except, he walked right up to you and sat down next to you. 

You raised your brows at him. “What are you doing?”

“Well, hello to you too,” JJ acknowledged with a light chuckle. 

“He’s gonna tell you to move again,” you predicted. 

JJ shrugged it off. “Like some seating chart is gonna keep me away from my favorite girl,” he retorted in a playful tone. 

You smiled, ready to go along with his flirting. “Favorite, huh?”

He put his elbow on his desk and leaned on his hand. “What, you didn’t know that? I coulda swore I made it obvious.”

You hummed, ready to hit back with a sly comment. Until you were interrupted.

“Is this going to become a daily occurrence?” Mr. Sunn’s voice tore you and JJ away from the gaze you held. You both looked to the front of the class, where he stood watching you two. “I believe you know your correct seat, Mr. Maybank.”

“I forgot, actually,” JJ lied easily. “I’m pretty comfortable here, though.”

Mr. Sunn rolled his eyes and held back any indication that he found the situation as funny as you did. “I can’t have my students revolting,” he decided. He pointed to JJ’s assigned seat, waiting for him to move.

“It’s only 45 minutes, JJ,” you told him. “I think you can survive.”

“Fine, fine,” he told you and Mr. Sunn. He got up and moved to his seat. The boy that sat next to you came out of nowhere and took the seat. 

After class, you met up with your friends. You were about to walk with JJ to the hall where both your next classes were, but Kie decided something different.

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” she announced. “Y/N- come with me?”

Except you didn’t really feel like she was asking. 

“Um, sure,” you agreed and headed off with her in the other direction of the boys.

“Why do girls always do that?” JJ wondered, watching as the two of you turned a corner.

“Girls just do that,” Pope explained. “This time they’re going to talk about you, dude. For sure.”

“About me?” JJ furrowed his brows. “What about me?”

“About how you like Y/N and that it’s totally obvious now. To everyone.” 

JJ just shrugged. He thought everyone already knew. The only person he really wanted to know was you, but you never seemed to think he was serious. You always flirted back and that was fun, but maybe he had to up his game.

Oddly, no one brought up the seat incident yet again as a group. Kiara and Pope did observe you and JJ closer, but even if the flirting was a little more obvious, it didn’t go beyond that.

Next day in history, it was a repeat of the previous days.

“I’m starting to think you like me,” you joked to JJ when he sat down beside you.

“It took you this long?” he responded teasingly. You tried to not read into it, not wanting to get your hopes up. Not realizing that he was hoping you would read into it.

Mr. Sunn looked up from his desk when the bell for class to start rang. Immediately, as if in a force of habit, his eyes landed on you and JJ. Once again he would have to start the class period by telling JJ to move.

“You must have amnesia,” Mr. Sunn directed towards JJ. Everyone knew that, he didn’t have to say his name.

You and JJ exchanged a look and a small laugh. You’d gotten over any level of embarrassment that came from people chuckling and eyeing you and JJ. 

“Can’t you just make an exception?” JJ asked. He was bargaining but didn’t have anything to offer.

Kie threw a smirk over her shoulder at you, but you avoided eye contact. 

Yesterday she had spent the “bathroom” trip convincing you that JJ really did like you—as more than just a friend. She knew you liked him, but also knew you were avoiding telling JJ. You didn’t want to mess with your friendship by making what you had always assumed was just friendly banter into something awkward and feeling like an idiot for thinking it was some kind of signal if it wasn’t. 

If she hadn’t sworn to JJ that she wouldn’t tell you how he felt, she would have cleared it up yesterday. But of course you didn’t know that.

Mr. Sunn’s lips pulled into a tight line. You couldn’t tell if he was genuinely annoyed or amused. “If you’re next to her, how can I expect you to pay attention in class?” 

At that, the whole class chuckled. Even you. At least Mr. Sunn had a good sense of humor.

JJ blushed a little at that. You hadn’t seen him flustered like this in… well, it had been a long time. He couldn’t think of a comeback as quickly as he usually did. Too many seconds passed for him to recover, so he had no choice. 

JJ grabbed his backpack. “I’ll see you after class,” he promised. 

“You always do,” you replied just loud enough for him to hear as he stood. He shot you a smile before walking over to his assigned seat.

Class moved slowly, although at least the subject was mildly interesting compared to your other ones this semester.

When the bell rang, you waited for your friends and you all walked out of class together. 

“JJ, are you trying to get in trouble?” Pope asked, almost accusingly.

JJ scoffed out a laugh. “Don’t be dramatic, I’m not gonna get in trouble over a seat.”

“Interesting that you keep going for a seat that’s right next to Y/N,” Kiara mused in a knowing tone.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop,” you told her, but not in a serious way. You and JJ flirted but you didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable by her comments, implying that there was more.

Turns out it was the opposite. You didn’t see the way JJ looked at you. You were focused on the eye roll Kie gave before saying bye and heading to her next class. Pope followed suit, leaving you and JJ to walk to your next classes together.

“Y’know, if Kie wants to think… that,” JJ started, referencing her very obvious implication. “Or if anyone else does… I wouldn’t mind.”

You stared up at him, a bit taken aback. You and JJ had always been close and flirted, and even though you had a crush on him and all your friends were convinced he had a crush on you, neither of you brought it up or confronted it. JJ was taking the first step.

“I wouldn’t mind either,” you admitted, smiling lightly. 

JJ looked surprised, then relieved. “Really?”

You only let out a small laugh, “I’ll see you later,” you told him. You were about to walk to your class further down the hall, but stuck around for a moment longer. “Tomorrow, just sit in your seat,” you suggested. “Mr. Sunn is a chill guy but it’s gonna be a long year if we start off annoying him.”

“We’re not annoying,” JJ faked offense. “But yeah, alright,” he relented. “I guess I’ll just have to stare longing across the class,” he teased.

Your smile grew. “Yeah, I guess so,” you replied smoothly. Then, you walked away towards your class.

“We’re still meeting up with Pope and Kie later, right?” JJ called after you.

“Yeah,” you called back, not looking over your shoulder.

You hung out with your friends later and gone about your day. You and JJ of course flirted, but nothing more than usual. Pope didn’t bring it up again and Kiara just shot you knowing smirks. 

Next day in Mr. Sunn’s class, much to your surprise, when JJ walked into class he gave you a light wave and continued on to his assigned seat. He was following your advice, which was a hard thing to get JJ to do. You looked over and realized he was standing near where his seat was. 

And that someone was already in it.

The guy who was supposed to sit by you was in JJ’s seat. Meaning there was an empty seat right beside you.

JJ looked over his shoulder at you and grinned. He waltzed over, suddenly in a much better mood.

“Is this seat taken?” he asked you cheekily.

You looked past him to see the guy in JJ’s seat. He gave you a shrug and a look that said, “you’re welcome.” You almost laughed. 

“I guess not,” you answered JJ, looking back at him with a smile of your own.

He sat down in the seat, victorious. 

Mr. Sunn walked in when class started and went to the board.

“I see my words mean nothing to you, Mr. Maybank,” Mr. Sunn said, spotting JJ.

A smirk crossed your friend's face. “Actually,” he started, perking up. “My seat was taken.” 

Mr. Sunn looked at JJ's actual seat and sighed. The kid looked a little guilty but didn’t say anything. He looked back at JJ. “Fine, you win,” he decided. Then, he began to write on the board. 

After class, you and JJ parted from Kie and Pope to walk together to your next class. 

“I can’t believe he finally gave in,” you said with a laugh.

“I can be persuasive,” JJ replied smoothly.

You let out another laugh. “That was not persuasive. That was…I don’t know what that was,” you admitted.

“Fine, but I got what I wanted,” JJ revealed. It was no surprise, but there was something underlying in his tone. 

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” you held your hands up in surrender. The two of you stopped outside of your class and faced one another.

A small smile tugged at his lips. “I would hope not.” 

“I’ll see you later,” you told him. “Don’t miss me too much,” you decided to add on. 

“Oh, baby, I always do,” he played along casually. 

Your face felt warm at the nickname, but you didn’t say anything more. When you all hung out later, the interaction played through your mind.

You were too distracted to realize JJ was staring at you all night—or at least that’s what Kie had told you later.

The next day in Mr. Sunn’s class, JJ was there before you. You couldn’t remember the last time he was ever in a class before you. You walked to your seat and he smiled up at you.

“Hi there,” you greeted, sitting down beside JJ. “For once you actually came to class early,” you pointed out. 

“Well, I had a reason to,” JJ replied with a smile. “I wanted to ask you something.”

You chuckled, thinking of a joke. “Do you need an alibi?”

“Ha ha,” he said sarcastically. “I’m serious though.” Your expression turned confused. “Not like, serious serious. Don’t look so worried.”

“Alright, what is it?” 

“After school today would you wanna hang out? Just me and you?” JJ asked with a hint of nervousness.

“We hang out all the time,” you started knowingly. “So if you’re asking…” you mused, suppressing a smile (you were having a hard time with that, though). “Is this you asking me on a date, JJ?” 

“Maybe,” JJ said with a tad of nervousness. “Would you want to?”

“Yeah,” you answered without hesitation. You could’ve held out longer and maybe messed with a little, but you decided against that.

JJ looked pleasantly surprised. “Really?”

In your head, you were beaming with excitement. Out loud you confirmed, “it’s a date.”

“Don’t let me interrupt,” Mr. Sunn called to you and JJ, interrupting. “But since it seems important, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind sharing with the class.”

“Well, I’ve got a date later, so that’s pretty great,” JJ practically bragged, not missing a beat. “As for how that goes, I don’t kiss and tell.” 

JJ shot you a wink after that, Kie and Pope looked over their shoulders so fast you thought their heads were gonna spin, and Mr. Sunn actually looked impressed.

“About time,” someone in the class spoke up. It was an unfamiliar voice. When you located the source, you found it was the boy in JJ’s old seat.

And what did you do? Well, all you could do was let out a laugh and share a smile with JJ.

You had a feeling this class was going to be much more fun now—although, maybe not as much fun as your date with JJ.

[ruerecs]

𝑗𝑗 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑓𝑖𝑐 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑠 𝑖𝑖𝑖.

pieces of you by @obxsummer

cruel summer by @reidintoit

leaving cute notes by @maybankprincess

mcdreamy

missing piece

by @maybankswhore

[andy-15-07]

Sun, Sand, and Love

A true love Masterlist

Pairing: Rudy Pankow x reader x Drew Starkey

Summary: first vacation as a couple.

Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

Drew, Rudy, and Y/n strolled along the sun-kissed beach, their hands intertwined as they relished the feeling of the warm sand beneath their feet. The salty breeze swept through their hair, and the sound of crashing waves filled the air with a soothing melody.

"This is paradise," Drew remarked, his eyes scanning the endless stretch of coastline before them.

Rudy chuckled, wrapping an arm around Y/n's waist. "And we're finally here together."

Y/n smiled, leaning into Rudy's side. "It's even better than I imagined."

As they walked, they passed by colorful beach umbrellas and groups of people playing volleyball or lounging on towels. Drew glanced around, his gaze landing on a secluded spot under a palm tree.

"Hey, what do you say we claim that spot over there?" he suggested, pointing towards the shaded area.

Rudy nodded eagerly. "Sounds perfect."

Y/n grinned, squeezing Rudy's hand. "Lead the way, boys."

They settled down on the soft sand, spreading out a large beach towel beneath them. Drew reached into the cooler they had brought along and pulled out a couple of cold drinks, passing them around.

"Cheers to our first vacation as a couple," Drew said, raising his bottle.

Rudy clinked his bottle against Drew's, a wide smile on his face. "To many more adventures together."

Y/n joined in, toasting with her drink. "And to making unforgettable memories."

They spent the afternoon lounging on the beach, alternating between swimming in the crystal-clear water and soaking up the sun's rays. As the day wore on and the sun began to dip lower in the sky, they decided to take a romantic walk along the shoreline.

"This is so beautiful," Y/n whispered, her fingers laced with Rudy's as they walked hand in hand.

Drew smiled, wrapping his arm around Y/n's shoulders. "Not as beautiful as you."

Y/n blushed, leaning into Drew's side. "Smooth talker."

Rudy chuckled, his gaze softening as he looked at Y/n. "He's not wrong though."

They walked in comfortable silence for a while, content to simply enjoy each other's company and the breathtaking scenery around them. Eventually, they found themselves standing at the water's edge, watching as the sun dipped below the horizon in a blaze of orange and pink hues.

"It's moments like these that make everything worth it," Drew murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

Rudy nodded, his gaze never leaving Y/n's face. "Agreed."

Y/n smiled, feeling overwhelmed with happiness as she looked between the two men she loved. "I couldn't ask for anything more."

As darkness fell and the stars began to twinkle overhead, they made their way back to their beach towel, where they settled down to watch the moon rise over the ocean. Wrapped in each other's arms, they talked and laughed late into the night, sharing stories and dreams for the future.

"I never want this moment to end," Y/n whispered, resting her head against Rudy's chest.

Drew pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his heart overflowing with love. "Then let's make the most of it."

And so, they stayed there on the beach, lost in each other's arms, cherishing every precious moment of their first vacation as a couple. For Drew, Rudy, and Y/n, it was a time of love, laughter, and endless possibility—a memory they would carry with them forever.

[katsu28]

risk it all - part 2

Here’s Part 1 if you wanna take a read! Risk It All

pairing: JJ Maybank x reader

summary: Weeks after JJ confessed his feelings to Y/N, it's hard getting used to life without him

warnings: light swearing, mentions of sex, slight angst

a/n: Y’all I am so sorry that it took me so long to write this, things have just been a lil chaotic in my life but I am finally back and better than ever with part 2! I think it’s about 2.3k words, which is technically not that long but it’s definitely the most I’ve ever written on here. Anyways, hope you enjoy it!

(gif found on google, credits to owner)

You hadn’t heard a peep from JJ Maybank in ages. This wasn’t entirely unusual, as sometimes you’d go days without hearing from him until he texted you saying that he needed you. Other times, he wouldn’t stop texting you, whether it was sending you random thoughts throughout the day, or horrible jokes that always made you roll your eyes but smile anyways.

Your initial thought was that JJ would get over whatever feelings he had towards you and you’d be able to fall right back into your routine no problem. But as days turned into weeks with still no word from him, you began to realize that maybe it wasn’t just a silly crush.

You’d seen him around, of course—with a town as small as the Outer Banks, running into JJ and his friends was inevitable. He’d gone out of his way to avoid any interaction with you at all costs, even so much as crossing the street when he saw you making your way down the block in his direction.

But even though JJ was avoiding you, his friends definitely weren’t. Kiara was always shooting angry looks in your direction, while Pope and Sarah’s were more sad, John B’s more disappointed—which honestly made you feel even worse. The Wreck and Heyward’s grocery delivery service, even parties at the Boneyard were definite no-gos, because it seemed like the less chances you took to run into JJ, the better.

So you went on with your life, picking up extra shifts at work since your nights weren’t busy fooling around with a certain blond boy anymore, but in the back of your head was this constant nagging feeling that you soon realized was your brain’s way of telling you that you missed having JJ in your life, no matter how much you tried to ignore it.

You were doing pretty well, all things considered, until one day you ran into John B while restocking on some groceries.

You’d spotted his familiar head of messy brown curls from a few aisles away, but even though you did your best to steer clear of him, it was just your luck that you ended up face to face with him in the snack aisle.

“Hey, Y/N.” John B greeted you casually, like nothing had happened between you and his best friend.

“John B, hi.” You answered hesitantly, shifting your basket of groceries from one hand to the other. You couldn’t help but let your gaze dart around your surroundings, because if you had learned anything from your time with JJ, it was that wherever John B went, JJ was usually there too.

It was like John B had read your mind, because he sighed. “He’s not here. You can stop worrying.”

“Right.” You took an awkward step back. “How’s it going?”

“Oh, same as usual. Y’know how it goes during summertime.” He shrugged. You nodded, not really sure what else to say. The two of you stood in uncomfortable silence for a long time, but before you could make up some excuse on how you needed to be somewhere, John B spoke again. “You really got him fucked up, you know that right?”

And there it was. The proverbial elephant in the room. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean to.”

“I know you didn’t, Y/N, because I don’t think you’re that kind of person.” He sighed. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you did.”

“I know. And I feel horrible about it.”

That much was true. You really did feel terrible about the way you’d handled things the last time you saw JJ. But if his behavior throughout the last couple weeks was any indicator, he probably never wanted to see you again.

“Then go talk to him.” John B said simply.

“Yeah, no. That’s not happening.” You snorted with a shake of your head. “He obviously doesn’t wanna talk to me, John B.”

“Then don’t give him a choice. If you wanna make this right, make him talk to you.” The brown haired boy insisted. “That’s kinda what I did to make him talk to you about his feelings in the first place.”

Your eyebrows flew up in surprise, and you were only half-joking when you responded. “Oh, so this is your fault then.” John B cracked a smile.

“Hey, you’re the one who broke JJ’s heart.”

“Shut up.”

“He’s bunking at the Chateau right now, if you were wondering.” He hummed, winking at you playfully before wandering away. You stared blankly after him for a little while, rooted to the spot in the middle of the aisle as you debated whether or not you actually had the guts to go confront JJ after all this time.

Now, twenty minutes and half an existential crisis later, you were standing in front of the Chateau—a place that was once familiar but had since grown distant in your mind, as you’d tried and failed to block out all thoughts of JJ and anything associated with him. Bringing your hand up to knock on the paint-chipped door, you hesitated.

What if JJ had decided he was better off without you? What if he hated you for the way you’d left things?

Before you could chicken out and run away, the door swung open, revealing the boy you’d just been thinking about. He looked the same as you remembered—all broad shoulders, smooth tan skin and wild blond hair that you’d previously grown used to seeing laying next to you in bed in the mornings. Not that you’d expected him to drastically change in a few weeks’ time, but it honestly had felt like forever since you’d seen him—like, actually seen him, not just quick stolen glances whenever you’d watched him avoid you in town.

JJ froze when his eyes landed on you, mouth falling open just slightly as he blinked at you slowly, like he couldn’t believe you were actually standing in front of him.

“Hi, JJ.” You said quietly, pressing your lips into a thin smile. He moved to close the door immediately, then paused halfway, pulling it back open like he wasn’t sure what to do. Then he took in a sharp breath, opening his mouth like he was about to say something but snapped it shut without saying a word. “Can we talk?”

A few more seconds passed before he answered. “I don’t—I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” This was the first time you’d heard his voice in weeks, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t missed the sound of it.

“Please?” JJ contemplated for another few seconds before nodding once, reluctantly stepping aside for you to step into the house. You hurried inside, worried that he would change his mind.

You hadn’t spent much time anywhere else in the Chateau besides JJ’s bedroom and occasionally the bathroom, but it looked just like you’d imagined it would—messy but cozy. There were beer cans on the counter and random pieces of clothing thrown on the backs of pretty much every chair in the vicinity, crooked picture frames on the wall and various books and scraps of paper scattered on the tables.

“It’s a mess, I know.” JJ leaned back against the wall right next to the front door, crossing his arms over his bare chest as he watched you take in the room.

“No, it’s…homey.”

“That’s just another word for messy.”

“It’s not—nevermind.”

“Y/N, why are you here?” He asked sharply, cutting straight to the point.

“I wanted to apologize,” You sighed, tucking your hair behind your ear. “For how I left things last time we saw each other.”

“You mean when you shot me down.” His voice held a slight bitterness to it, but you couldn’t blame him. You probably would’ve reacted more or less the same way.

“Yeah, that.”

“And when you told me we couldn’t be friends anymore.”

“Yep, I remember what I said. It was wrong of me, and I’m—”

“Y’know, I thought you of all people would understand what it’s like.” JJ pushed off the wall, snatching his red hat off the table next to him, twisting it in his hands as he paced back and forward in front of the couch.

“What what’s like?” You asked incredulously, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He let out a humorless chuckle, shaking his head. “What are you talking about?”

“What it’s like putting yourself out there and not getting the results you hoped for. I mean, that’s why we started hooking up in the first place, right? You were going through a dry spell.”

“Okay, we’re not doing this, JJ. I know I hurt you, and I’m trying to make it right, but that doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole.” You scoffed, crossing your arms. “And by the way, you were the one begging me to help you out the first time we hooked up. So don’t act like we were doing this just for me.”

“I’m the asshole here? You’re the one who said we couldn’t be friends anymore. I thought this was what you wanted.”

“You thought I wanted you to blame me for everything that’s happened between us?” You were getting angry now, and so was JJ.

That was the thing about both of you. Neither of you were very good at dealing with conflict, which is why you’d decided to make this thing between you a strictly no strings attached deal from the get-go. It was fine when you were friends, but as soon as feelings got involved, things were bound to get messy. JJ had to have known that when he confessed to you, and it was exactly what you were worried would happen.

“JJ, you can’t blame me for the way you feel. That’s on you.” You gritted your teeth, trying not to blow up on him. “I was just doing what we’ve been doing. You’re the one who got attached.”

“Yeah, well, can you blame me?” He exclaimed, throwing down his hat on the sofa and raking his hands through his hair. “When we first started doing this, I thought it was gonna be easy. All I wanted was someone to help me out when I needed it, and you were there to do it. I thought to myself, “Hey, a pretty girl wants to have sex with me. This is great. This, I can do.’ And it was even better because we didn’t have to have the whole ‘I’m not looking for a relationship right now’ talk, because it was you, and I knew you’d understand.”

JJ was inching closer to you with each word, closing the distance between the two of you with what you could only call a desperate expression on his face. “But the more we did it, the more I saw you in a different light. And I hated the way it felt at first, I hated that I was catching feelings so fast when I promised that I wouldn’t. But I couldn’t help it. You…you’re perfect, Y/N, and I really like you. That hasn’t changed.”

“JJ…” He had you backed up against the table behind you by now, hands resting on either side of you and effectively caging you into this close proximity. You could feel his breath on your cheek as he dipped his head down, closer and closer to you.

And suddenly his mouth was on yours, kissing you slowly and and gently and not at all like he did when you were hooking up. It was a different feeling than when he was attacking your lips in bed, and instead of pulling away like your brain was screaming for you to, you found yourself kissing JJ back, instinctively bringing your hands up into his hair like you’d done so many times before. He groaned against your lips as your fingers threaded through his hair, pressing even closer to you until—

“JJ, stop,” You pulled away from him breathlessly, flattening your palms against the warm skin of his chest. The restless blond boy frowned, chasing your lips with his only for you to rear your head back away from his. “Stop it.”

“What?” He huffed, resting his hand on the curve of your waist.

“I’m not—I told you, I can’t be what you want me to be.” You said softly, feeling guilt coil in your stomach at the way JJ's face fell, just like it had the last time you'd uttered those same words. But this time was different. His jaw clenched as he moved to push away from you, but you grabbed his hand before he could. “Not…not yet.”

“Yet?”

You paused for a few seconds, wanting to get your jumbled thoughts in order before your next words. “With all the shit that’s happening in my life, I can’t give you everything that you want. I’m still not ready to be in a relationship right now.” JJ was hanging onto your every word, eyes searching yours for any hint of some cruel joke, but coming up short. “But one day, I will be. When that day comes, and I don’t really know when it will, I’m willing to give us a try.”

“Really?” He breathed, suddenly looking extremely hopeful.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, to wait for me—”

JJ shook his head quickly, so hard that his messy hair flopped over his eyes. “I’ll wait. I’ll wait for you, Y/N, I don’t care how long it takes.” He looked deadly serious, and that’s how you knew that he was being truthful.

JJ Maybank would wait for you as long as he had to.

“Alright then. Friends?”

“...With benefits?” He asked hopefully, tilting his head.

“Just friends, JJ.” You chuckled. “For now.”

“For now.” He bobbed his head. “Can I kiss you one more time though? Just so I can engrain it into my brain until next time.”

“Don’t push it.”

“Got it. Sorry. Friends is good.”

Taglist!

@jeyramarie -> thanks for hyping up my jj content bestie!! <3

[sargeant-bxrnes]

stay, stay, stay [jj maybank]

summary: based on ‘stay, stay, stay’ by taylor swift.

warnings: mentions of intoxication, mentions of domestic violence, angst, fluff & complicated relationships.

word count: 2.3 K

click for my masterlist

I'm pretty sure we almost broke up last night

I threw my phone across the room at you

I was expecting some dramatic turn away

But you stayed

With JJ nothing ever was too serious, or worthy worrying about. Whether it was a bruised up face, hourly disappearances or bad trips. Everything would always be alright.

But that night it wasn't. What started as a simple banter, turned into a whole fight, it was easy to blame it all on the weed or the beers you two had consumed, but that was only half to blame.

All the way from the party to the empty Chateau, you two had been arguing, yelling at each other without holding back.

What the fight was originally about had been long forgotten now; more harsher words were being said and unresolved issues were being brought up, only to get no resolution as in your high minds, not a single coherent thought crossed.

Without thinking twice, seeing red and blinded by anger because of something he'd said, you threw your phone across the room, JJ reacted just in time to duck, as it crashed against the wall behind him.

That made both of you stop.

An overwhelming wave of guilt invaded you at the realisation of what you'd done, and JJ was frozen in his place; staring at you in utter silence.

You'd thrown your phone. At JJ. Your boyfriend and the person you promised you'd always love and take care of, the person you've been supporting through all this time, especially when his father's unjustified wrath fell on him.

And here you were, throwing stuff at him. It hadn't been on purpose, you had been completely blinded by rage but, then again, that didn't excuse what you'd done. And you felt like the worst person on earth.

"JJ, I'm-" you'd barely begun your apology before he interrupted you, raising both of his hands.

"I think we should..." he started and trailed off for a couple of seconds as he ran a hand through his blonde locks. Every single one of the multiple outcomes that sentence could have terrified you.

A breakup felt imminent.

"What?" your voice was timid and seemed as feeble as glass, JJ's eyes were focused on you, and it didn't take long for him to notice you were about to crack.

"I think we should both cool off, alright? We've had a long night and, honestly, I think the new weed my cuz sold us was stronger than the other one."

You nodded your head, wiping away the tears of guilt that threatened to fall down your cheeks, even after what you'd done, JJ was being nice to you, decent and caring; putting what you two could lose in front of his own needs.

JJ slowly made his way into the chateau, running a hand through his hair while looked down, his steps slow as he dragged his feet through the wooden floor.

You wanted nothing but to approach him and hug him, tell him you were so fucking sorry for what you'd done, but you knew JJ was right. What both of you needed was to relax, to cool down and talk about it later.

"I'm sorry," your words escaped your lips, and JJ stopped in his tracks, turning around to look at you.

JJ nodded his head at you, his expression more relaxed now but still not being his giddy self. The discussion had clearly taken a toll on him, on both.

Without a word, he turned around and kept walking. You closed your eyes for a few seconds, trying to make up your mind before doing something lame.

But fuck it.

You followed him inside the house, feeling guilty for following him around even though he wanted to be alone, he was making his way to a free room, not the one you two shared, but even after that, you couldn't help yourself from reminding what you still felt, no matter what.

"I love you." your voice was soft, it was a miracle he'd heard it, but he had.

"Love ya' too." he assured you, his eyes fixed on you before he closed the door behind himself.

He needed some time to relax, and so did you.

*

This morning I said we should talk about it

'Cause I read you should never leave a fight unresolved

That's when you came in wearing a football helmet

And said, "Okay, let's talk"

The next morning, you'd woke up to John B, Kie and Pope having breakfast, but there had been no sign of JJ, apparently he'd left earlier in the morning, taking some of his stuff along with him.

Worried about what that meant for both, and worried about his safety, you had sent a text to JJ, asking him how he'd woke up and where was he, he'd replied almost immediately saying he was alright.

He was as sweet as ever, and a pang of guilt hit you like a train, you still felt bad for the previous night, which is why you asked him to meet you at your special spot, just to talk things out.

You could imagine a thousand different versions of JJ arriving at the little spot you two had called your 'rendezvous spot'. He could've arrived with beers to drink the problem down, more joints in his pocket, or a box with your stuff to drop it there once and for all.

But you never imagined JJ arriving in his bike, wearing a football helmet you knew didn't belong to him.

"What's with that?"

"You know," he shrugged as he took some steps closer, with his hands in his pockets. "in case you try to break any other Tom Brady records."

You didn't know if you could, or should've laughed at his comment or not, but eventually he was the one who giggled as he took the helmet off.

"Kidding baby, I'm just gonna pawn it, but first..." he threw it to the ground. "let's talk."

*

And I said

Stay, stay, stay

The beginning hadn't been easy, but eventually JJ and you were able to sustain a serious conversation.

"I'm so sorry," you admitted, looking down at your own hands just so he wouldn't have to see your teary eyes. "I never-you know- I never wanted to- fuck I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," JJ assured you, taking a step closer and wrapping his arms around you, placing a kiss on top of your head. "I know you didn't mean it baby, it's okay."

"I'm so sorry," you kept repeating yourself, your words muffled by the material of his shirt. "I never should've done that, I was so fucking insensitive-"

"It's okay,"

"-I'd never wanted to hurt you," you continued, now fully crying and feeling like a piece of shit. "And I don't want you to feel like- like-"

You couldn't even put your thoughts to words. You felt so terrible that nothing other than tears seemed to be enough to express it. JJ suffered enough with his father's violent attitude, the last thing you wanted was for him to feel at risk with you too.

"Please, stay." you pleaded, it seemed senseless, or so JJ thought as he never planned on leaving; not now or ever. He wasn't mad at you. "I'm so sorry, but please don't leave, stay. Stay."

"Why would I leave?" he questioned you, pressing you closer to your body. "We're alright, darling, it was just a little bit rocky, nothin' to worry about."

"But I-"

"-and yeah I mean, you kinda went batshit crazy last night but, we all have bad days don't we?" he shrugged, trying to cheer you up by tickling your side. "But that's part of livin', having bad days like yesterday, screaming at each other like a couple of crazy people; and good days, when we go fishing or spend our day dancin', laughin' and fucking."

You wanted to cry again, you felt blessed to have JJ at your side. He was such an amazing human being despite everything he's gone through, and you admire him for it.

He's so selfless, willing to do anything for those he loves, he's caring and loving, doing everything within his reach and beyond to make sure you always feel loved, even through your hard moments.

*

I've been loving you for quite some time, time, time

You think that it's funny when I'm mad, mad, mad

But I think that it's best if we both stay

"Not gonna lie, it was kinda funny," JJ admitted with a shrug, so you looked up at him with furrowed brows.

"What was?"

JJ shrugged again. "The whole thing."

"JJ..."

"Like your phone really went 'pew!'" JJ said, imitating the trajectory of the phone with his hand. "How is it not broken? I don't know. It isn't a Nokia."

It was hard to know if it was a harmless joke or JJ's way of coping with what you'd done, so you felt bad all over again. A light chuckle escaped you, while you looked down at your hands, trying to avoid JJ noticing the guilt in your eyes.

"Oh no, no, it was a joke," JJ hurried to say, noticing that you'd gotten sad again.

JJ knew you hadn't meant it, both of you were high as a kite and the argument over stupid things had clearly gotten out of hand, like your phone. It wasn't a big deal, JJ knew you loved him with every beat of your heart and that you’d never hurt him. Just as he’d never forgive himself if he ever harmed you.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay..." JJ mumbled, messing up your hair. "Besides, you may not remember but I do. You said something along the lines of me 'being dumb as a bike', what does that even mean?"

Had you really said that? You snorted but ended up giggling, JJ following you quickly. The comment made no sense, and it was likely you'd said it in an outburst of anger; either that or JJ heard wrong.

"I have no clue." you admitted.

"See? You're funny when you're mad." JJ pointed out. "And hot."

*

Before you, I'd only dated self indulgent takers

Who took all of their problem out on me

But you carry my groceries and now I'm always laughing

And I love you, because you have given me no choice but to

Love is a complex thing, with many, many layers. There's so many ways to love, that those that aren't, often get mistaken as one.

Before JJ, all your boyfriends had been utter jerks. Whether it was an unfortunate coincidence or just the type of guys you attracted, you didn't know. But they all fell into the same category, in one way or another.

You'd gotten used to that kind of love, in which your boyfriends were allowed to have bad days and take it out on you, but the second you felt bad, you had to hide it to not bother them. It's something you did, like a reflex.

You hated appearing vulnerable to them, which always led them to believe you were the perfect and most supportive girlfriend, even if you were crumbling from within without them noticing it.

So when JJ arrived at your life to show you his way of loving, it took some time getting used to. At the beginning you wondered if he expected something in return for every single nice thing he did for you, when in reality, JJ was more than happy with your love in return.

He was so genuine and with no ulterior intentions, his love was selfless and honest, passionate and wild.

JJ is the type of boyfriend who carries the groceries for you. The type of boyfriend who drives all the way to your house to cuddle you at 3 AM if you can't sleep. The type of boyfriend who tries to cook a soup when you're sick, and ends up getting the next thing to a radioactive substance.

JJ is the type of boyfriend who'll do anything in this world, and the next, to make sure you're happy; for he could spend the rest of his life hearing your laugh.

*

You took the time to memorize me

My fears, my hopes and dreams

I just like hanging out with you

All the time

All those times that you didn't leave

JJ may have a hard time staying still, or quiet, but in no way is that an impediment for him to admire you, or listen to you.

If asked, he’d act dumb, but the truth is that JJ remembers everything you say.

He remembers when you told him your fears while drunk, you talked about them as if they were senseless and ridiculous, but JJ never forgot about them and vowed to himself he’d protect you forever.

When you talked about your future, you always did it with ‘when,’ always holding out hope for things to change, and JJ admired that; how you never lost hope, no matter how difficult the situation.

Whenever you talked about your future plans, JJ was always included, and it warmed his heart profoundly. Knowing that he was in your plans brought him comfort.

Before he met you, everyone around him seemed… temporary, like they would leave him eventually, for one reason or the other.

But you seemed determined to stay.

And so would he.

*

It's been occurring to me

I'd like to hang out with you

For my whole life

You knew that with JJ there were only two ways to go down the path.

Either, he would be your worst breakup ever. One you'd never recover from because you knew you'd never find someone like him.

Or, he would be the man you would marry and raise a family with, spending the rest of your chaotic lives together. The love of your life.

And honestly, you expected it to be the latter.